The real me :)

This picture represents the true me. I was 17 and I was at a Backstreet Boys concert with my older sister/best friend Greta. I was absolutely obsessed with the Backstreet Boys when I was in elementary school. I saw them in concert when I was in 3rd grade, and seeing them again was literally one of the best nights of my life. I felt like elementary school Annie again! I may or may not have cried. Multiple times. Also, it was so wonderful to be there with my sister. She's not only my co-BSB fanatic, but she is the person that I've always felt most "myself" around. It's one of my favorite memories with her, and this picture totally captures that.

Masked.

At Wheaton, I think academic pressure and perfectionism are kind of like the bronze serpent. Most people will jokingly admit they're an over-achiever or that they feel overwhelmed, but I feel like a lot of people don't see it as a problem, much less a problem that needs to be solved. I think these issues are seen as something that just comes with the package of going to Wheaton, and may even be necessary to doing well. Pressure and perfectionism are things that the administration and faculty have brought up before. I've had countless professors tell me that I shouldn't work on Sundays, that I should go to bed before midnight, that I should value relationships over homework. I have a hard time discerning whether or not they actually believe what they are selling us is possible. I've tried, and there's no way all of those things can happen. You can choose to have relationships and studies, but you won't be in bed by midnight. You can take Sundays off, but be prepared for no social life on Friday and Saturday. You can sleep enough and get your work done to your professor's standards, but you're going to be working on the Sabbath. I feel that Wheaton wants to state that pressure and perfectionism exist but don't really want to condemn them because at the end of the day we are an academic institution, and grades rule in an academic institution. I've had multiple professors encourage us to take a lower grade on a paper or study less if a friend is having a problem. Relationships, of course, are more important in the Kingdom. But I highly doubt I would actually receive grace on a project because I was up with my roommate whose life was falling apart. I even had a professor flat out tell me, "Don't ask me for grace because you were up late with a friend or roommate. I'm not graceful. Jesus is." So we are encouraged to make the sacrifice for what's more important in the Kingdom, but at the end of the day our feet are still held to the fire of deadlines. I guess I just wish Wheaton would either address pressure and perfectionism as a problem that they want to resolve, or not address it at all. Because this sneaky "God doesn't expect you to be a perfectionist but we do because that is how you meet our standards" thing is getting kind of tiresome. So let's all look at the serpent of pressure and perfectionism and realize that if we actually want to be "For Christ and His Kingdom" we need to walk our talk. Or not talk at all.

Mask movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNidT3KNztc

Being productive.

1. When I was making my mask I was thinking about the idea of offense/defense, because I was feeling very me vs. the world at the time, and I saw the mask as somewhat of a defense against what was going on outside because it expressed what I was feeling inside. In the photos, however, I see my mask as relating to the idea of the mask/image with no substance behind, especially the first picture. In this picture the mask is something that I put on to sort of numb myself and my mind so that I am able to produce out my right hand what I am taking in through my left. In this picture there really isn't anyone behind the mask, the mask has temporarily taken over the real me.

2. My mask and pictures have a strong connection to the idea of real/ideal. Within the picture, I am struggling between enjoying the beauty I am taking in (the book I am holding) and the beauty i want to take in (the books on the floor) against the pressure to produce something out of that beauty. My real self just wants to enjoy it, the ideal is able to produce without really taking it in. Then there is the contrast of real and ideal between the two pictures. In the first one, I have it all together and everything is in place. In the second, I am struggling to keep my mask on and to mindlessly crank out a response to beauty. I would consider that to be a true representation of my real self.

Real and Ideal

I think the biggest contrast between the real and ideal pictures in both of these sets is the amount of editing that went into the ideal picture versus the real picture. I did a lot of touch-ups to Erin's ideal picture, such as making her teeth whiter and adding highlights to her hair. I didn't do any editing to enhance her in the real image. Josh also touched-up my photo, as cued by my very white teeth! Also, in both of the real photos, neither Erin or I are posing. I snapped her real picture when she was actually smiling about something we were saying, and obviously the wind is blowing her hair in her face. Josh took my real picture when Erin and I were joking about something and I made a silly face.

When I was retouching Erin's ideal picture I was thinking about this movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

I like their last line- "No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted". It's distorted because people see all these beautiful images in magazines, on billboards, etc. and think "Why don't I look like that?" And the truth is, NO one actually looks like that. Computing editing has completely changed what we see as ideal, and now it's not even truly attainable. Only in photos.

Landscape and Earthworks.

This picture was taken in Puerto Rico, in a cave called "Cueva Ventana," or Cave Window. This picture is of the end of the cave, where it literally opens up like a window in the side of a mountain, looking out over the landscape. It was an ab

solutely incredible view. I spent about 45 minutes there just taking pictures and reveling in the glory of God's creation.

This is one of the pictures from our Earthworks project. We were toying with the concept of being "wired" in nature and also the idea about preferring the tree or a picture of the tree. In this picture Mitchell is sitting up against a tree, but is basically ignoring it because he is so engrossed in his technology and the picture of the tree that he is looking at.

The difference for me between working on the landscape and Earthworks projects was that when taking my landscape picture I was focused on capturing the earth, whereas during the Earthworks project I felt we were using the earth as just another prop, like the laptop or the shirts in some of our other pictures. In the landscape photo I was trying to take in all the natural beauty and take a photo that appreciates nature. For the Earthworks pictures I felt like I was trying to manipulate the earth, not appreciate it. I think that the landscape picture is much more representative of my relationship with nature/creation. My preferred relationship with nature is when I can just be in it and take it in and appreciate it. I like to think when I'm nature, but I don't like to try and understand. I love the feeling of knowing that I am in something that is way too big for me to comprehend, and so I don't try. I just let it be this monumental mass in my mind, and I respect its complexity by remaining relatively on the outside, like I did when I took this landscape photo. It was me observing this space and trying to fit as much beauty into the frame as I could, knowing that there was so much that I couldn't fit in my predetermined number of pixels. In the Earthworks pictures I was really trying hard to make something out of nature or to use it for a specific purpose, which is just not how I relate to creation.

This is the picture we had in mind when we were coming up with our concept for Earthworks. It's a great example of the contrast between preferring the scene or a picture of it. If I were in this frame, I would be on my way outside to walk around in it instead of sitting there painting.

And you'll be lost...

1. This image is called "Blue Crucifixion" by Kazuya Akimoto, a Japanese artist. This contemporary abstract representation of the cross is a pastel on paper. It was made in 2003. Akimoto has done some other colorful abstractions of the cross throughout the past decade.

2. I chose this picture because, while it is not even close to being as detailed or painful as my historical choice, I think it still represents the cross well. The blue symbolism of sadness and sorrow is very meaningful. Also the dark color scheme shows the darkness and evil of the cross. Thankfully this situation was redeemed by the plan and power of God. I also like the sweeping brush strokes, because they make me think of Jesus' blood being poured out for us.

3. I think this image is true in the sense that it accurately portrays the immense sorrow and darkness of the cross, and beautifully represents the blood that Christ shed for us.